Reader.
I love a good fusion—food, fashion, interior design… ideas that shouldn’t belong together but somehow do.
But when there’s too much of everything? That’s not fusion—it’s a mash-up.
October felt like one big mash-up for me: joy and ache, teaching and family, all at once—like a Thanksgiving plate piled high with every side dish… and dessert.
Canadian Thanksgiving, October 13: I was teaching on Deborah with the Living Room community—the same day our grandson was born. Both things I love..but at the same time? It was salad and desert on the same plate. I wanted to be in both places at once.
A week later my dad finally came home after a long hospital stay… and two days after that, our sweet grandson was in the NICU while I was teaching a women’s retreat on “The Women Who Co-Labored with Paul to Birth the Church.”
My head was with my parents, my heart with our kids and grandson—but the Holy Spirit made it unmistakably clear I was right where I was supposed to be. At the retreat with those beautiful women.
I think I developed a new “faith muscle” I didn’t know I needed—learning to hold the tension between what my heart wants, like being with family, and what God calls me to: staying where He has me.
A mosaic beneath the dust
At the retreat, I showed a short video of archaeologists uncovering a stunning ancient mosaic that had been buried for over 1,500 years! (It brings me to tears every time I watch it.) I've started this at the part that I find so moving.
[link to YouTube clip]
(p.s If you were you at the retreat, I’d love to hear your reflections: feedback form here.)
Those few minutes uncovering the beautify of the handiwork of a incredible mosaic artist depicts what I believe God wants for all of us—to be unburied. Life piles on layers of responsibility, pain, and busyness that can hide what He originally designed us for. And while those longings—like my desire to be with family—are good, I wonder if we lose ourselves along the way.
This verse captures the heart of Illuminate (and 9 Lumens).
“But everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.”
— Ephesians 5:13 (NIV)
We’re not just receivers of light just to be beautiful; it's so we become light ourselves.
Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing.
- Ephesian 2:7-10 The Message
Women of Torches 🔥
One woman I believe has been buried is Deborah in Judges. In the October study of Deborah, I shared something that changed how I read her story.
Judges 4:4 describes her as לַפִּידוֹת אֵשֶׁת (lappidoth esheth), most often translated “wife of Lappidoth.”
But in Hebrew, it literally reads “woman (esheth) of torches (lappidoth)”—a woman of light and fire.
It’s unlikely “Lappidoth” is a man’s name at all, because the usual reference to his father (as in “Barak, son of Abinoam”) is missing. The same Hebrew word (lappid) is rendered “torches” also with other Judges: Gideon and Samson.
It seems far more plausible—and far more powerful—to read it as “a woman of torches.”
What changes for you, thinking of her that way instead of “the wife of Lappidoth”?
I sent the women from the living room saying over them
“Be women of torches.” Be light.
So let me ask you, Reader:
What lights you up?
What part of your story might God be uncovering right now?
Carrying my torch 🔥
I recently added something new to my website—guest speaking for women’s groups and retreats. Even typing that still feels a little scary, but it’s also the clearest picture of what lights me up: seeing women encounter women in Scripture and realize their value in God’s kingdom.
If your church or small group is planning a women’s event—or even your own living-room study with friends—I’d love to come alongside you.
Because more than anything, I want women to see themselves as vital and valuable in God’s kingdom story.
Seeing this testimony on the wall from the retreat said it all...
An Illuminate Retreat?
I’m also praying about hosting an Illuminate Retreat so you can get in on the learning of that Women Who Co-Labored With Paul. I'm thinking weekend of February 27 – March 1—a weekend of teaching, reflection, and rest.
Would you reply and let me know if that sounds like something you’d love to be part of?
