Reader,
What you'll find in this email:
- A job I didn't know I was finishing
- Transition is different than change
- What a September New Year could look like for you
- An online catalog of 9 lumens offerings is always here
Our youngest graduated from high school in June. And perhaps it's my Enneagram 3 language here, but considering I was pregnant with our oldest when we moved to the United States 24 years ago, I feel like I've just retired from my first US job: raising kids. Yes, I know. I will be a parent for the rest of my life. But my job as a mom of littles and school-age kids is done. He's 19. He can vote. In Canada, he's of legal age, for Pete's sake. He could move out tomorrow, and I have zero control over it. I'm not okay.
Of course, I'd seen it coming. But for some reason, walking into Target last week and not needing school supplies felt like a slap in the face.
I went through a version of this once before, when he started kindergarten.
Turns out there's a name for that. A transition.
...transition always starts with an ending. To become something else, you have to stop being what you are now; to start doing things a new way, you have to end the way you are doing them now; and to develop a new attitude or outlook, you have to let go of the old.
Change is the calendar turning. Transition is the bigger page-turner, an interior one, asking who you are now, what your purpose is, or what your life looks like without a role you've held for two decades.
Some transitions we'd never choose. A health crisis. The loss of a spouse. And some are genuinely good, like how I'm grateful our sons are healthy and moving into their own lives. But even the good ones come with grief for a season that's over.
As an Enneagram 3, my instinct in transition is to rush into something new. Fill the void. Get busy again so I don't have to feel the grief. I remember exactly what that looked like when our youngest started kindergarten. I stared at an empty house and jumped straight into something new. I can see it now: I was terrified of what it would mean about my worth if I wasn't looking productive.
This time, while the “I must be productive” lies are still surfacing, I know what to do with them. I've spent a lot of this month journaling. Processing with spiritual mentors, friends, coaching, and a lot of prayer.
I feel God saying what many 3s find hard to hear.
Rest. What does rest look like for me? Not adding anything new to my plate. Not jumping into more roles just because I "can fit it in."
Maybe, for a 7, it's staying in discomfort instead of planning the next exciting thing. For an 8, letting yourself soften, even for a minute. For a 9, name what you actually want to do and stick to it, rather than defaulting to what is comfortable or easy. If you want things to watch for with your own type when you're in transition, just reply, and I'll send some your way.
What's coming up for you reading this?
September New Year isn't just for us parents with littles. Maybe you just dropped a kid off at college for the first time. Maybe yours didn't come home this summer at all, and that absence is its own adjustment. Perhaps there was a wedding or divorce that brought a big change in your life. Maybe you're not a parent and noticing summer winding down and sensing that stretch of space between now and the holidays.
Wherever you land, September New Year can be a signal to use that space to learn more about yourself. But not attached to resolutions. NO NEW YEAR NEW YOU pressure. Just a chance to pay attention to yourself before the holidays swallow your calendar again.
What if, by the holidays, you were more stress-resistant? Six sessions of Enneagram Coaching starting this month means you'll walk into the holidays knowing what derails you and what matters most.
If you've already done that work, the Enneagram Deepening Year holds space for a full year of diggin in with support and structure. Start now, and the holidays won't catch you starting from scratch. By next September, you'll have pulled back real layers in yourself, your relationships, and your walk with God
I trust the nudge in you. You'll know if it's time. Fitting, since this whole email is about trusting a different calendar than the one on the wall. I'd love to hear your thoughts either by replying or jumping on an exploration call with me.
P.s. Here's all the ways to work with me. A catalogue of sorts...
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Linda Hannigan
Enneagram Coaching & Leadership
Illuminate · Excavating Women & Scripture
ICF PCC · Galilean Group
Client Portal
9lumens.com
“Everything exposed by the light becomes visible—and everything that is illuminated becomes a light.” — Ephesians 5:13 (NIV)
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