May 2026

Insights

Insights from the work: what clients are navigating, what I’m learning, and ways to keep growing.

Reader,

Trying to talk about 27 years of Type 3 & Type 1 marriage in a 40-minute podcast felt like skipping rocks across the surface of a very deep pond.

Six years ago, when Neil walked in the door angry, I spiraled into performance. Not anymore. He's done his work with anger, I've done mine with performance, and daily inner work is what has left us both more grounded — individually and together.

What you will find in this email:

The podcast conversation with Christa Hardin at Enneagram + Marriage
A small noticing practice, by repressed centers of intelligence for our work
The FREE quarterly check-in for 9 Lumens Alum

The Podcast Conversation

Christa Hardin at Enneagram + Marriage invited me onto her podcast this month. While the conversation was intended to be more around what it looked like in my Enneagram 3 & Enneagram 1 partnership, we ended up talking more about desires and what that looks like when good desires are displaced or disordered. We also talked about the expectations we hand our spouse, or anyone for that matter. Many of them, I realized, were mine to bring to God alone. And honestly, I shared about how we are both doing our own work.

Listen now:🎧 Apple Podcasts🎵 Spotify🎥 YouTube

What the Work Looks Like

The Work. Not an easy thing to define. While the spiritual journey is part of the human experience, it looks unique for everyone. The Enneagram is helpful in showing us ways to partner with God in areas we don't see, or in the places that need our attention.

Repressed centers of intelligence are one of those places.

Each Enneagram type has a stance, based on their dominant center of intelligence. Body types (8, 9, 1) lead with doing. Heart types (2, 3, 4) lead with feeling. Head types (5, 6, 7) lead with thinking.

But each type also has a repressed center. That's the center of intelligence that was pushed off-line very early in life. The work is to bring that center back online.

Types 3, 7, 8 repress feeling (though it looks different for each type). The work is slowing down to notice and name feelings, and letting God be with you in them.
Types 4, 5, 9 repress doing (again, different for each). The work is asking God to help you see what's holding you back from starting, and taking one step of action.
Types 1, 2, 6 repress thinking (with an overthinking loop showing up for each in different ways). The work is asking God for one clear thought. Not the looping. The settled kind.

For 1s, 2s, and 6s, this is often the hardest to see. Thinking is happening constantly, but it's the anxious, looping, self-critical kind. Clear, grounded thinking is what got shoved down.

I heard this somewhere in my years of study, and it stuck: Inner work is not done in a day. It is done daily.

Types 4, 5, 9: Give yourself the gift of starting one thing today.
Types 3, 7, 8: Let one feeling stay long enough to name it before you move on.
Types 1, 2, 6: Notice one thought looping. Let it move through without solving it.

Based on your Enneagram type — what are you wondering about your repressed center of intelligence?

FREE Quarterly Check-in for 9 Lumens Alumni

If you have coached with 9 Lumens before, a free 30-minute quarterly check-in is available between August 12 and September 11. A way to check in on your work, one-on-one with me for 30 minutes.

Book your check-in here

One question before you go: what's one thing you want to notice today?

p.s. If you're realizing the work doesn't happen without accountability, the Enneagram Deepening Year is built for exactly that. Monthly guide sheets, monthly coaching, one year. Learn more here.